While I was in seminary, my free time was a huge blessing! When I would have free time, I would use it to renew my mind with God’s truth by spending time with God, watching sermons, or finding godly resources online to further grow my knowledge of God. Now, I find myself still looking to the sermons online and godly recourses but it’s different. God is doing something in my heart. They aren’t as interesting anymore. He’s challenging me to apply everything I’ve been learning over the past two years for His Kingdom. That scares me. Not because I’m fearful of what will happen but, I’m fearful of what will happen. Or in other words, I know God is with me every step of the way and He’s prepared my heart for this, but it’s what He’ll do. My desire is to see God work in me and through me for the growth of His kingdom and for His glory, but that all scares me. So I find myself watching Netflix or on the internet.
How many of us do this? Once we get to this stage in our walk with Christ, because we like our comforts which makes it easy to doubt, choose to do something else with our free time?
Yesterday, I heard an argument a man was having over the phone with is girlfriend. He was in so much pain. He was crying, stating all he had was himself, and he was nothing. That broke my heart. It reminded me that we live a dying world who needs Christ dispersedly. And yet, we the church, doubt God. We choose to turn our heads, close our eyes and ears, and watch the next episode of Once Upon a Time (Or whatever show you watch on Netflix/internet).
