The past month God has been so gracious to me it has blown me away. It's funny, the closer you get to God, the more you see your sin and the more Holy and Perfect you see He is. I don't deserve anything He has given me and I've never felt so blessed in my life right now. When I met Jesus two years ago I thought that was amazing but now following Him in everything I do, yes, has been painful the deeper I go, I've never felt so grateful for for His love and the grace He's given me. To see the fruit from my time spent seeking Him blows me away but the one thing I will never understand but so grateful for is I am His and He is mine. Jesus choose me to be His and through that grace He is mine. That will never change. That's humbling.
About a month ago, I took a step into the deep end and told a close friend of mine that ever since I've known him, he's ment something to me thats been more than a friend. I'm not sure why I did it but I think it was God and His timing. I've known Aaron for 2 years and met him a week after I met Christ. He was wearing a Boba Fett t-shirt and was running sound for a CIHOP worship set. We hit it off really well and I found myself with a little crush. I told myself that no, he's a baby. I can't like him. He was 19 and I was 22 at the time. But I found myself every time I was in Cleveland to see my family, I wanted to see Aaron. That summer my cousin Bethany, my friend Steph, Josh, Bethany's now fiancé, and Aaron went to Cedar Point and camping. Those times we all got to spend together were amazing! I had no clue God was shaping my friendship with Aaron to be more. We were always texting each other wondering how each other was doing and asking questions when they came up. After camping that summer I started dating a man I just met a couple weeks before. I stopped talking to Aaron after that. When I went to visit my family Jan of this year there was a desire in me to see Aaron so I asked him if he wanted to get coffee. There, we talked about who we were dating/interested in. It felt strange but we didn't tell each other this. I went back to Michigan and I thought I was happy in my relationship with the other man but soon I stopped denying what I was truly feeling and broke up with him. That was hard and painful but God showed me so much about myself that I am grateful to God for that relationship. Towards the end of this summer I was becoming cotent with God in my singleness. Then I get a prayer request from Aaron asking if I could pray for him for something he was feeling God wanted him to do. We started talking again on and off again. We started talking a lot more once I got skype. I was going to go to IHOP's The Call and I knew my family from Cleveland was going too so I asked Aaron if he wanted to go with us. I wanted to see him. He prayed about it and decided to come and God worked it out with work so he could.
As time got closer to The Call, I found myself thinking, "Aaron is going to think I like him," because I had suggested he come. But that thought didn't bother me at all because I couldn't mistake my desire to see him. At The Call, it was so nice to see my good friend. It was like we were never apart. After The Call was over, we all went back to my mom's house. Running on two hours of sleep, Aaron and I started talking and I started asking him those questions about our friendship and what he thought about things. After he gave some vage answers I opened up about my desire to see him and how I liked him when we had met and why his opinion matter so much to me. Then he told me, "I lied. I've always wanted more." I am so grateful for God's timing and following Him!
Aaron is everything I've ever prayed for and more. I don't deserve him at all. I have no clue what is going to happen with Aaron and I but I am trusting God with everything. My prayer for us that God is always in the center of this and we trust Him.
Thank you Father for Aaron. I never thought my life would be better than my dreams.
:) This is awesome, Ally!
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